Golf is like marriage

We've all heard that golf is a metaphor for life and business but after attending probably the best wedding ever in my life (including my own), I’ve come to realize that golf is a lot like marriage.  Or should I say, marriage is a lot like golf.

My lovely niece Vanessa and her golfguy Wes kicked off their marriage in August with a shotgun.

No, no...not THAT kind of shotgun!  Get your heads out of the bunkers, people... I’m talking about a shotgun golf tournament!

I counted close to 50 people who showed up to shoot, drink and be merry. What a blast we all had!

It was a wonderful mix of golfgals and guys who were there to have a good time and really didn’t care how they scored.

Actually, that’s not true; my 2 nephews were trying to score with the cart girl all afternoon. ;)

The next day as I was lounging by the pool waiting for the ceremony later that day, it occurred to me that if we treated marriage the way we treat our golf games, then ‘‘one round’’ might all we need and divorce rates among golfers would the lowest in the country.

Think about it - to be successful in both golf and marriage you need:

• Patience
• Trust
• Commitment
• Practice
• A little Luck

...And sometimes a good dose of amnesia.  Bringing up past transgressions in a marriage is like hanging on to the agony of that last 3 putt - you gotta let it go or you’ll screw-ith up your next shot.

Gentlemen, taking your range game to the golf course isn’t easy; neither is treating your wife every day like it’s your first date.  But you gotta find a way to do both.

Ladies, does your husband do something that just drives you crazy - are you constantly trying to change him? Sometimes it’s better to just play him as he lies.

Speaking of lies..

In golf and in holy matrimony, there are those lies that get us bunkered and some that are just unplayable.  When you really screw up at home, take a drop, accept the penalty and then scramble.  You will discover that saving par feels a whole lot better than a birdie after a foot wedge.

We all know it’s better to give than to receive, so be generous with gimmees on and off the course. 

And the next you time you think of packing it in because no matter what you do, you seem to end up in a hazard, remember that marriage, like golf is played between your ears, not between the sheets.   

Don’t give up when your relationship is in a slump.  Tee it up one more time - a come back tomorrow shot is just around the dogleg and if you trust your swing, you may find yourself falling in love all over again.

So whether you’re out to play a round or play around, do it with the one you love.

I hate cliches but this one says it so well and is worth repeating, “Couples that play together, stay together.”

Play on Vanessa and Wes!


Golfgal

Tweet

What's your handicap?

I'm not talking about the factor you use to determine you net score in friendly competition.  I'm talking about that obstacle standing in the way of you playing your best golf... and loving it!

I recently discovered mine and it had nothing to do with hooks, slices and yips.  Here's my story...

Over a year ago I decided to spoil myself with a pedicure at a very high end spa in the city.  During the vigorous foot massage the ethetician hit something in my right foot and caused me to almost jump out of the chair. Since that day, I've lived in pain. I have tried drugs, reflexology, acupuncture, chiropractology and orthodics.  Nothing worked.

It didn't hurt to swing a club, but I couldn't walk more than 9 holes without limping.  I started riding a cart when everyone else was hiking it. It broke my heart and my spirit. I started feeling old.

My golf game took a dive, shooting my index up almost 4 points.  More than once, I thought about quitting, but then 2 months ago, something happened...

I was helping out  my golf coach, Ginny Golding at an Adapted Golf Clinic where 15+ golfers who survived severe traumas were out to better their games.


Many of them were in wheelchairs; others could stand and walk, but had limited arm and shoulder mobility.  But that didn’t stop any of them from whacking the ball as far as they possibly could, enjoying that sweet sound a good strike makes.

Meet Ed.  Ed survived a stroke 5 years ago and has limited use of his left arm.  So his is a one-handed swing using his right arm only; but when he connects with the ball, it soars! 

Watching Ed and the others, I kept wondering what motivates them to keep trying.  I think I would have given up.


“Everybody has challenges one way or another, whether it's cognitive or physical," Ed told me. "But if you continue to work hard, any physical condition should not prevent you from engaging in golf.  It's a lifelong sport you should be able to play until you’re 100 if you really want to.”

It was a wake-up call for me - one that made me look at my game and my life from a new perspective - one of opportunity rather than one full of challenges. After that day, my thoughts about my insignificant disability changed and so did  my golf game.

I fell in love with the sport all over again.  I even started getting up at 5:00 AM to play 9 holes with my golfguy before heading into work.  I couldn't get enough of the game whether I was walking or carting.

This weekend I finally entered all my scores into the RCGA Network for the year and discovered my handicap was the lowest it has ever been in my life - 17.4

I'm smiling now just thinking about it and the fact that I have a couple more months to get it under 17.  There's no stopping me now!

I ask you again, "What's your handicap?"   Mine isn't my foot; it's the 5 inches between my ears Bob Jones talked about. Henry Ford told us how to use those inches, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."

So, if you really love something, and IF you fill those 5 inches with the power of positive thinking, you will find a way to enjoy what you love, no matter what life throws your way.   I love golf.  And as long as I'm on top of the fairways instead of under them, I'll be giving it my best shot ....Aaaaand loving it!


Golfgal

Tweet