Golf isn’t hard – it’s just terrifying

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Have you ever stood over a 3-foot putt for birdie and had your hands shake so bad that you thought you’d drop the club?

Have you ever experienced the Fear Uncertainty and Doubt that comes the moment you realize you are facing the hardest shot in golf – the one right after a sh__k!

Do you wonder if you’ll ever stop feeling naked on the first tee?

Well, that’s why this sadistic sport terrifies even the greatest athletes in the world. 

Do you think that Charles Barkley’s swing is a result of anything but fear?

You don’t become “One of 50 Greatest Players in NBA History” without having pretty darn good hand-eye coordination. Check out his swing on the range…

So the MVP winner can swing a golf club – off course – but can’t perform on course when all he has to do is hit a little white stationary ball with a big fat club! Shocking to those who don’t golf. But to those of us masochists who enjoy golf’s regular dose of saddism, the sport is not only hard, it’s what nightmares are made of.

Speaking of nightmares, imagine what it would feel like to pull out your driver on the 12th hole at the San Juan Hills Golf Club in California, start your pre-shot routine and have it interrupted by a tiger shark making a crash landing on the tee!  It’s not as crazy as it sounds; it almost happened this week.  The only part that’s not true – no one was teeing off at the time the shark dropped in for a visit.   But imagine if YOU had! 😉

There is a lot to be afraid of on a golf course.  In Arizona you’ve got your rattlesnakes – definitely hazards to be avoided at all costs.  True story…Friends of ours were playing in Scottsdale when the wife was bitten by a rattler.  The scariest part is that the golf club had no snake bite kit (I find that so hard to believe), so the husband had to rush her to the hospital. Lesson to Golfgal…pack a snake bite kit on your next trip to Phoenix.

Another true story…Once when my golfguy and I were playing up at Nicklaus North in Whistler, we were teeing off on a par 3 when a momma bear and her two cubs wanted to play through.

I was sitting in the golf cart screaming at my golfguy to get off the tee box.  He was NOT happy and he told me to “shhhhsh!” so he could start over his pre-shot routine and hit his ball.

Momma Bear was only about 20 feet away when he finally got in and drove to the green. I was about to throw up; he was laughing.  Bears in BC are nothing to laugh about.  There are so many of them that if they were a city, they’d be the 2nd largest city in the province.  Lesson to Golfgal…buy a bear horn!

And for those who live in alligator alley in Florida, my advice to you is that when you see any kind of reptile on or near a putting surface, take a two stoke penalty and head to the next tee box.

Yes, golf is a terror-able game, which is why I’m surprised there isn’t a new golf movie coming out this month.  After all, isn’t this the time of year for horror flicks?  🙂

Haha…Happy Halloween all you crazy golf ghouls and gals!

Golfgal

Pamper yourself on Maui! Book your little piece of heaven in golfers’ paradise. Book now at http://www.vrbo.com/424659 and tell them Golfgal sent you!
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2 comments

  1. Thanks for sharing this blog.It is very nice and informative.

  2. Makes me remember when the cognoscenti at one of those country clubs on long island kept snickering when I was swinging.

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