Golfers never die; they just change holes

I was doing my taxes earlier this week wishing I were anywhere else when Benjamin Franklin’s fatalistic proverb ran through my mind, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

As a tax payer, there’s very little I can do to change the rules on when and how I give unto Caesar.  But as a golfer, can I choose where I spend eternity when the grim reaper hits me with a final DQ?

When considering the possibilities, at first I thought that I would love to have my ashes scattered among the azaleas at Augusta; it’s the only way I’d ever get to smell them as a female golfer.

But then I thought, why live my eternity looking up at people who wouldn’t invite me to play?  So I decided what I’d really love is to spend my ever after on the fairways where I’ve had the most fun.

The problem is that most parks, sports fields and golf courses decline requests from grieving families who dare to ask for permission.

Don Ho Funeral, Waikiki Beach, 7/5/07

But that hasn’t stopped a lot of people who have chosen less traditional burial grounds.  e.g. The legendary entertainer Don Ho had his ashes scattered about a half mile offshore of  Waikiki Beach.

Wildcat scattering of ashes is becoming a common practice among North Americans who want to send off their loved ones in a very personal way.  According to an article I read in the WSJ last year, about 135,000 families are choosing to surreptitiously scatter ashes rather than urn them, resulting in about 338 tons of human ash landing on non-traditional burial grounds every year.

I don’t see any problem with it since the ashes are organic.  In fact it’s quite sustainable; something golfers have been accused of being “NOT”.  So I say, “Wherever ye may be let your ashes fly free!” (just make sure I’m up wind from you ;)).

I bet at this point you’re wondering why on earth would I be writing about death.  It’s not anything morbid I can assure you.  I just happened to be reading an article in Golf Business magazine about a funeral home in Washington State offering a rather unique resting place for avid golfers.

Memorial Golf Park

Sunset Hills Memorial Park and Funeral Home in Bellevue, WA hired an architect to professionally design Memorial Golf Park – a one acre golf hole with an 820 sq. ft green, bunkers and lush fairway.  This hole now has over 13,000 deceased golfers who call it their eternal home.

I think it’s a brilliant idea and so do many golfers.  It’s so popular that the company is looking to add a second hole to the park, and are expanding into the Vegas and Phoenix.

Look…None of us get out of this alive and we certainly can’t take it with us, but wouldn’t it be nice to think that when you do make that last putt on your last round in this game of life, your next life starts at new tee?

Live every day like it’s your last and make every shot count.   That’s my motto in life.  In death it will be “Hit ’til your happy!”

Golfgal

Photo credits: 
Don Ho Funeral: © Robert Cravens | Dreamstime.com
Memorial Golf Park: Sunset Hills Memorial